Who You Calling “Hot Option”?

At this stage of the trip – the start of month 6 – a few things have happened. First, I am down to a mere 1 pair of pants in my backpack. Second, the weather has taken a turn for cold and getting colder as I arrive in New Zealand in 3 days. Something had to give. I just wouldn’t have thought it would be my fashion sense.

On the prowl for the cheapest pair of jeans I could purchase in very expensive Melbourne, I stumbled into a certain discount chain store where lo and behold, a $25 jean sale was taking place. Bingo! I gathered a few pairs of jeans to try on that seemed the least unattractive – no mom jeans, no baggy butt jeans, no ugly denim washes.

I was a bit put out that the gaping wide ankle of the boot cut style (which was otherwise pretty darn cute) could have fit the Jolly Green Giant’s shoe, but times are tough, my wallet is thin, and otherwise, they weren’t all that bad.

Or so I thought.

After arriving at the hotel, I removed the very large tag stapled to the back of the jeans, and discovered to my utter horror that embroidered across the rear of my jeans is the brand name. Unfortunately, that happens to be “HOT Options.”

My butt is emblazoned with “HOT Options.” This is not a shining moment for me or my feeble wardrobe. But will I rock it? Will I prance around NZ’s glaciers and mountains, letting all who wondered know for sure just who they’re dealing with? Heck yes, I say.

Um, ok, let’s face it – I have no choice. And hopefully, the eyesight of those around me isn’t all that sharp…



  1. I only hope your left cheek does not become jealous of your “hot option” right cheek. Conflicted Buttocks Syndrome is the malady no one wants to talk about.

  2. Dina Borrelli Hillmann says:

    This was your funniest post yet! Made me laugh out loud! 🙂

  3. OMG (thanks to Emma, I know this!!). The story is a riot. I laughed out loud and I do love the photo! I think the name is perfect for you. After all of this trip’s Great Adventures in photos and wrtings this just hits the nail on the head! Have fun and I wonder if your label will give you more stories to write. Hmmmm
    Love and huigs and kisses, Momala

  4. Regina & Jimmy says:

    This is hysterical. I laughed out loud! But I can’t believe you could possibly be related to us Erbicella’s, traveling with one pair of pants! Impossible!

    • Valerie Conners says:

      well – it’s not as bad as it sounds! I’ve been wearing sun dresses, shorts and a bathing suit for most of the past 4 months 🙂

  5. dana dalton says:

    Maia’s reaction: “That’s not appropriate.” Then she started dancing around the living room sticking out her bum saying “Hot Option! Yeah!” LOL! Can’t share this one with Emma! 😉

  6. dana dalton says:

    btw, I was just reading an article in a magazine about how “trouser jeans” (very wide at the bottom) are very stylish right now. So you may be “hotter” than you realize!

  7. I seriously need you to wear these the first time we see each other when you return!

  8. LOL
    Love it!