“Taking Planes in India” (To Be Sung Loud and Proud)

During a severe state of utter travel delirium (Maldives to Hanoi, 5 planes, 24 hours) I was inspired by the hardcore intensity, madness and hilarity of the Indian airport system and in what I’d like to consider an inspired moment, composed the following:

(to be sung to the tune of the “Hokey Pokey” because, why the hell not?)

You get your passport checked
You get your luggage scanned
Hit the check-in counter, then you do it all again.

You’re taking planes in India
It’s harder than it sounds.
Security’s what they’re all about!

It’s Immigration next.
You get your passport stamped
Then head off to customs
And you do a little dance.

You’re taking planes in India
It’s harder than it sounds.
Security’s what they’re all about!

Now it’s security check time,
Make sure your carry-on’s tagged
‘Cause when you put it through the scanner,
You’re sure to get flagged.

You’re taking planes in India
It’s harder than it sounds.
Security’s what they’re all about!

Now you’re at the gate
And it’s bunfight time,
Make a mad rush for the plane
Because no one gets in lines.

You’re taking planes in India
It’s harder than it sounds.
Security’s what they’re all about!

6 Comments

  1. Bravo! Bravo!

    LOL – love this.

  2. LOVE it, Lady! Hilarious. I did my duty and sang it aloud (while giggling). Miss you to the moon and beyond!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep up the tunes, your talents are never ending. Myconners Sisters forever!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXO. p.s. i stumbled upon the pic on my phone of you in my Aretha wig. I just laughed(I know you know I did) I just laughed! No lie.

  3. A lovely song! You are one of the most excellent nutcases I know.

  4. Now that’s gonna be in my head all day.

  5. Haha! I remember that you had to have a specific luggage tag of some sort, but they ran out of them so my companion and I found a couple on the floor and used those and got through. Total chaos.

  6. Val, I’m here at work and this certainly made me laugh!!! How clever are you!!!!! 😉